Denmark 101 – How to Make Danish Friends – Episode 7

Perhaps THE most common question among recently arrived internationals in Denmark is, “How do I make Danish friends!?”.

In this video I delve into the topic, offer suggestions and a few comments that should ease you in the process and help you better understand why building Danish friendships can, at times, require an entirely different approach than you may be familiar with in your home culture.

 

 

Don’t miss Episode 6. where I talked more specifically about the process of meeting Danes. See it here.

Sorry about the light! Sun came out and overwhelmed the camera.

Want to start at the beginning of the series? Jump to episode 1.

Denmark and it’s residents are a fascinating group. In this video series I leverage my observations and research to share with you insights into how to get the most of your interactions with the Danes and your time in Denmark regardless of the duration of your visit. One day or ten years – my goal is to share observations I’ve made from my 5 years of living, studying, and working among the Danes.

If you’re Danish, hopefully you’ll find this series interesting, a bit informative, and not too outlandishly inaccurate. So far the feedback and input has been great and I look forward to continuing to further exploring Danish culture with you.

If you’re a foreigner coming to Denmark, I hope this helps you build upon observations and insights the rest of us had to find out the hard way.

Topics that will be covered include the Danish approach to nudity, how to make Danish friends, how to meet Danes, Danish manners, studying in Denmark, working here, traditions, key behaviors, taxes, dating and even a look at Janteloven.

Stay tuned for future updates – this is just the beginning!  Can’t wait?  Jump to YouTube and view all of the latest episodes and while there make sure to Subscribe!

Turning 30 – Birthday Reflections On Life, Achievement and Travel

Prolific travelers often joke that we have commitment issues.  It’s a joke I’ve often made – after all, when folks asked how on earth I could pick up everything and re-locate to Europe for a 2-year Master’s or how I seemed to perpetually be traveling I would flash a smile, shrug, and explain, “No mortgage, no dog, no girlfriend”.   There is, undoubtedly, some truth to this somewhat cavalier statement…but it’s simultaneously an equal part bullshit. I don’t have issues committing and I’m most certainly not running from things.  There is a path I chose a number of years ago, mostly aware of the trade offs. I do not commit casually and I do not commit without reason.  Why?  Because each commitment is a rope (or chain) which binds us to a place and time.  The weight of these can, at times, be light or transient but even the smallest commitment, when taken seriously, is binding.

All Abroad - Train Travel

In life I can be uncompromising though I combine this with a personality and lifestyle which might seem in direct conflict due to its fluidity and socially-engaged but relaxed approach. How can someone who grew up with a mediator-oriented personality and leadership style be simultaneously uncompromising? As I’ve matured as a person and grown increasingly confident in myself, my abilities, and the decisions I make I find myself less inclined to doubt myself and more ok with the trade-offs that come with decisive decision making.

Family in Europe - 95

Today I turn 30.  It is an interesting opportunity to step back, reflect, and share some of my observations to date. Below you’ll find a mixture of items I think you may find interesting – either as insights to reflect upon, or as advice garnered from life-lessons I’ve learned and am happy to share.  Others are just general musings about issues I find interesting, which weigh on my mind, or which have shaped the person who I am today.

Five Danish Life Lessons For The Rest of Us

After three years living and working with the Danes, what insights and life lessons have I learned?

Hygge is a very rich community oriented social concept which can roughly be translated as coziness and is at the heart of Danish culture. Embracing it, Danes take the negatives of winter and with a highly practical realism convert them into a celebration of companionship, warmth, and comfort. In so-doing they take one of Denmark’s worst attributes and redefine it as part of what defines Danish culture.

Round The World in 1969 and Two Years of Family Travel

Camping in the Van

I’m extremely excited to share today’s post with you.  I had a very unusual childhood, one which instilled my wanderlust at an early age.  I owe a lot of who I am and the adventures that drive this blog to my parents. While you may have heard me write a bit about these formative experiences, what you haven’t heard is the other side of the story – that of my parents.  So, I recently reached out to my Dad and asked him to tell his story, a story which includes an incredible year-long, solo RTW trip which he took between 1969 and 1970.  

What makes it all that much more exciting is what he was doing during that year: studying the way different cultures educate their kids.  That trip, and the two years we spent on the road as a family recently came up in discussion as I worked with him on his new book Vital Lies: The Irrelevance of Our Schools in the Information Age in which he explores the shifting role of education, the impact of technology, and offers what I found to be fascinating insights into the role education has and continues to play in our society. 

Eager to share part of his story with you, I’ve asked him to tell what it was like to travel the world on a solo-RTW trip in the late 60s, and to explain what it took to uproot the family for two years travelschooling in Europe and the US.  He’ll be responding to questions in comments, so please feel free to chime in!  But enough from me, here’s his story:

Ed and Date Tree

Preparing for RTW Travel

Wherever you are is the center of the universe. As a kid, the center of my world seemed vast. In time, I came to realize that there were billions of other people – their centers of the world – equally important. I felt very small. It was like looking at a star-bright sky and wondering what part I played. I couldn’t go to the stars, but I knew I could travel into the spheres of influence of other people. I could move around the planet and see what they saw, sing their music, eat at their tables. I could touch and feel and learn what was real. That is how I became an explorer, an adventurer, a traveler into other’s places.

I took small steps at first, chaperoning a ski trip to Switzerland, traveling with buddies in Mexico. I knew I was ready to travel, but to start it took money, time, and a sabbatical leave with half pay. I sold my car, said goodbye to fellow teachers, family and friends. I would visit schools in 22 countries and lecture about American Education or Southwest Archaeology. In exchange, they would arrange for a native speaker who could take me into the local schools and explain what was happening. I felt safe, knowing I had places to go and check-in. I didn’t consider what a year with only American Express mailboxes to keep me connected with home would mean.

Ed at the Alhambra

Taking The Plunge

I was 29, in 1969, when I departed Colorado and headed for Hawaii and points West. I set out to wander for a year. My plan was to immerse myself in other cultures and places, without rushing through others lives and the planet’s awesome beauty. In reality, to friends and family, I disappeared. Until they got a letter, often weeks after I left a place, they did not know if I was dead or alive. In those days, there was no internet, no Skype, nothing but letters traveling by snail-mail, and static-filled phone calls that cost more than four days food and lodging; impracticable and hard to place.

It wasn’t easy getting away. A military friend of mine told me there was a good chance I would never survive the year. “Ed, you probably won’t come back. Your family will never know what happened to you.” Another close friend asked me, “How can you do that to your parents … and me?” I had no answers, but I knew I had to go. I was not prepared. I had never experienced loneliness. I had never been followed and stalked. I was an innocent – for about three weeks – until I learned that traveling alone required special skills. There were no hostels, few hotels that would not leave me scratching, and even fewer signs in English. When I was ill, I self-medicated and lay in a room until it passed. When I wanted to talk to someone, anyone, I made contacts at the schools I visited, talked to myself, or wrote in my journal.

When I came home, I learned how my parents had spent a year worrying. My school peers were threatened by what I had learned, and avoided me. I rekindled some friendships, but lost an equal number. I had grown. I was not the same person. I wanted to contribute to education and… But few people could comprehend what I had experienced; what I had learned. Yet I still dreamed of the world and people who were part of my ken. I held that dream, time passed. Then something wonderful happened.

Berger Family in Europe - 95

Family Travel

Married in the ‘70s to an amazing travel companion, then parents in the ‘90s, my wife and I studied our two sons, saw innate wonder, curiosity and natural joy. We figured out our responsibilities as their teachers. We planned a life together, for the four of us, where the centers of our worlds would be expanded to include other places, people and realities. We wanted them to run free on the beaches of the world, discoverers of living things, open time, and personal responsibility. When they were eight and eleven, we rented our house, collected our meager savings, and spent the next year, packs on our backs, letting whim and caprice, adventure and discovery lead us through Europe. Travel! Cars and boats, trains and planes. Most important, shanksmare through other places and lives. They could look at the stars and know who and what they were a part of. It made our hearts smile.

To some, travel means that if it is Tuesday this must be Paris. Wednesday? London or Madrid. For us, it was sharing our son’s 8th birthday on the Eiffel Tower, as he looked down at Paris and then followed a pigeon, round and around, on the iron decks. Six months later, it was celebrating Greek Independence Day and our oldest son’s birthday In Crete. In between, experiences so powerful and mind-changing, so inspiring and filled with wonder, that they are as real to us now as they were then. The year ended, and we were sad. We could have traveled forever. We had to slow down and get back to the old reality.

Back home in Arizona, we expected too much. We were used to mind-broadening experiences and interactions with wonderful people. Sitting in classrooms and trying to be awake, didn’t serve our boys well. We decided to venture out again, this time in the US. We had an old 5th wheel trailer and a Chevy Crew Cab truck. We left in the fall, the day school started. Our classroom for the next year would be on the road. We melded into communities and the lives of others. Our 32’ trailer was home and school. We didn’t have to can things and bring them into class. The real world was outside our door. We moved from Arizona to Canada and then let winter push us south down the East Coast. We stopped every time we saw a new community, museum, or factory … whatever caught our eyes. We parents didn’t have to teach. What we learned we learned together. What we knew, we shared as it applied to the environments and cultures we cozied into. We called it “Travel Learning,” and started a web site to connect and share with others. On the road, we discovered many other families using travel as school. We let winter push us to Southern Florida and the Everglades. We fished, explored, and learned local history and customs. We experienced an America unknown to most.

Dad and I

We all travel now, every chance we get. The boys are grown, one at the University of Copenhagen in Denmark. The other, in Zambia, Africa serving in the Peace Corps. They are part of communities and feel connected to the worlds of others. We are always growing, exploring, getting the pulse of our planet and other people. That is what TRAVEL means to our family.

You can read Ed’s blogs on education on his site – EdwardFBerger.com, where you can also find out more about his new book Vital Lies.  He is on twitter via @EdwardFBerger You can also see my post from the Alhambra Spain, which takes photos from my visit and matches them up with shots Ed took 40 years previous.  If you’re curious about my brother’s Peace Corps activities, he has a series of amazing blogs on his site DavidBerger.net.

Have a question for Ed?  He would love to hear what you have to say – just post it in a comment, or connect with him on twitter. 

I’m Sorry, Did You Say Travel Disaster? I Heard Adventure: Why I Travel for the Disasters

Sunken Pink Boat - Bergen, Norway

Life is comfortable. Chances are you’re not starving in a third world country or digging ditches in Sub-Sahara Africa. Most Millennials reading this are students, working desk jobs or have embraced the life of an entrepreneur. We live comfortable lives and are grateful for it. Sure, we face challenges – we all do, but those challenges are seldom balanced. Most tend towards insignificance or life altering.

To advance as a person, we all need to periodically find that middle group between “Oh no my phone fell in the toilet, my life is over” and “my friend was just killed in a car accident”.  A life enriched by moderate disasters better prepares us for the big things, and reminds us how insignificant the little things are.

Beyond that?  Travel disaster stories make for some of the best stories out there and let’s face it: I’m sure you’re interesting, but it definitely wouldn’t hurt you to be that much more fascinating, would it? To fulfill these types of needs and missing experiences some people dive into extreme sports, others advocate more benign ways of pushing our comfort zones.  At the end of the day though, I’ll take an excuse to travel the world over signing up for a public speaking class in a heartbeat. The best part is both are equally as effective.

So, what the hell am I talking about when I say travel disasters?  I’m talking about when things go implode. I’m talking about when it’s 10PM and the hostel/hotel loses your reservation, when the “waterproof” hiking shoes you bought for $10 fall apart a mile into a partially submerged subterranean cave, when your ferry gets shipwrecked, or when you lose your travel partner in a foreign city and neither of you have cell phones that work.

Don’t get me wrong, I also travel for the food, for the culture, for the history and for the scenery but at the end of the day when I sit down for coffee with someone – it’s the misadventures that were terrifying and miserable which come to mind first.  They’re the ones that forced me to sink or swim and taught me to take action. They’re the ones that develop us as individuals and which stay with us as important life lessons. I’m sure someone told you as a child that fire was hot, but you only truly understood it and related to it after you burned yourself the first time. It was in the aftermath of the burn that you came to understand the power, benefit and beauty of fire. Similarly, some experiences must be experienced before we truly understand them and better understand what we are capable of and need as individuals. It’s not always pleasant, but essential.

The next time you plan a trip and start worrying about everything that could go wrong I want you to pause, smile and get excited.  Sure, shit may hit the fan but you’re ready for it. You can handle it. That’s what you’re there for.  Granted, there’s no reason to seek out disaster but if it finds you?  Well, that’s just part of the experience and a trip well traveled.

Ready to embrace your next disaster? Consider documenting it with a Canon G12 or a Canon T3i.

*This post was originally published on GenJuice.com